#155 - Breathing Part 4: Breathing by Dr Andrew Weil

   Amazon UK: www.amazon.co.uk/dp/156455726X

Amazon US: http://amzn.com/156455726X

In this excellent audio-book Dr Andrew Weil introduces 8 breathing techniques which he teaches to his patients to help them manage a wide range of health issues from stress and anxiety to a myriad of other conditions. 

Dr Weil practises integrative medicine combining elements of Eastern disciplines with Western medicine. Many of these breathing techniques come from yogic breathing or pranayama. At 1hr 45 mins it is a quick listen packed with exercises for you to practise while you listen. Some of these techniques are extremely simple such as simply observing the breath and there are other techniques such as the stimulating breath and the relaxing breath. 

Recently I have been using the stimulating breath (or bellows breath) and it is the quickest way to raise my energy I have ever come across - great first thing in the morning!

Thanks to boxing, public speaking and meditation I am becoming more aware of how breathing affects our mental and physical state. Breathing is the link between mind, body and spirit and considering the profound impact the quality of our breathing can have on our health and quality of life it is surprising that there is not more of a focus on it within healthcare.

"...and I wonder if Beethoven held his breath the first time his fingers touched the keysthe same way a soldier holds his breaththe first time his finger squeezes the triggerwe all have different reasons for forgetting to breathe." Andrea Gibson

Other posts on breathing:

#20 - Breathing - Part 1: Letting Stress Go

#21 - Breathing Part 2: My Co-worker Is A !&$%

#25 - Breathing Part 3: Easy Does It...

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#154 - Mindfulness: The 3 Poisons of the Mind

Link to Amazon UK

Mindfulness for Beginners by Jon Kabat-Zinn is proving to be a great listen. The audiobook is only 2h 26 mins long, the narration by Mr Kabat-Zinn is warm and engaging and I'm learning lots. 

One of the ideas which has stayed with me comes from Buddhism and is called 'The 3 Poisons of the Mind'. These 3 poisons are:

1) Greed
That ceaseless wanting which is never satisfied. As soon as we acquire the thing we want a new desire for something else springs up. 

2) Hatred
The judging, criticising, blaming, gossiping, complaining negative mind.

3) Delusion
The part of the mind that makes assumptions and creates stories about reality. 

Since discovering this idea I find I can quickly categorise my mind's shenanigans into one of these 3 boxes and this awareness seems to be the perfect antidote. 

Here are a few examples from my own experience:

1) Greed
-Craving that next book.

2) Hatred
-Focusing on my mistakes and flaws and being overly self-critical.

3) Delusion
-During one speech I delivered I assumed the blank faces of the audience meant they were not engaged and cut it short. When I received feedback however I was told that their blank expressions were due to the fact they were listening intently to what I was saying. 

I've also noticed that of the three there is one my mind tends to engage in more than the other two. My poison, if you will.  

Hatred, Greed and Delusion.

What is your poison?

the w0nd3r on Facebook

#153 - 9 Divine Aftereffects of Daily Challenges

This post is dedicated to Richard White and all the other Daily Challengers.

I'm on a train home from work battling the AI on my phone at chess. I say battling - really it's more like a man being humbled by degrees on a daily basis. At one point the computer sets a trap for me but I read it and blurt out excitedly:

"You think you're slick, but you're not that slick!"

I look up, realising that the thought had indeed escaped the confines of my brain into the silent carriage. The zombie to my left casts me a sidelong glance and slowly leans away from me. I feel eyes on me as several other people look over wondering exactly how crazy I am... 

But I don't feel anything. I'm not even remotely self-conscious. 

This marks a change, and this is one of the effects I've noticed since doing a joint comfort zone challenge with my friend Richard. 

Comfort Zone Challenge #1

Both Richard and I have noticed some pretty cool aftereffects of this and I have been itching to write this for some time. Here are 9 of the benefits I've experienced following these Daily Challenges. I hope they inspire you to challenge yourself too.

1) Less Self-conscious
-I sing out loud at times even in public if I'm really feeling the song - I can't sing and I haven't sung out loud in front of anyone since the age of 11
-I don't lower my voice if I'm on the phone and there are other people around
-If that song comes on my iPod and I get the urge to dance by the ATM or anywhere else for that matter, I no longer fight the feeling

2) Challenging the Status Quo
I've realised that most of what we do is based on what has been done so far and I find myself wanting to challenge the status quo and test limits. While still remaining within the confines of the law and being respectful of others, how can we push the envelope creatively, socially, professionally? I had an interview for a trainer position yesterday and some of the questions felt like they were designed by an unreasonable soul. At the end the whole situation felt a little unbalanced to me so I challenged the panel by asking them one of the questions they'd asked me: "What is your greatest accomplishment?" It was nice to see all three of them squirm :)

3) Challenging others and being challenged by them in return

Broadgate Circle - Comfort Challenge

Following the above joint challenge Gigi recorded her first 5 minute comedy bit and she has in turn challenged me to transcribe and analyse a great piece of comedy. I can already guess where that challenge is going to lead...

4) More Excitement
Now I seek out more challenges great and small. New experiences, new foods, new sports, new people. Last week I saw some guys in the park boxing. Ordinarily I'd just do my own thing and go home, I am an introvert after all. But I challenged myself to train with them. I got to teach them some boxing and they've added me to their WhatsApp Fitness Group. They also told me about a new boxing gym which I can use for free which is within walking distance of my home. Chalk up another win for the good guys.

Other exciting challenges to be tackled this year include:
-giving a public speech on an underground train w/Nerea
-starting a train party
-publishing my first book

5) Supercharged Relationships
Challenges are an amazing way to bond with people and deepen your relationships. Doing the comfort zone challenges with Richard and Gigi definitely pushed us all forwards to keep stretching ourselves and doing new things. They were also incredibly fun. 

Physical Challenge - leading a session of distance running and parkour for the TMC

6) More Trust
As I follow my heart more there seems to be another kind of guidance and way of living opening up. Bit by bit I'm starting to let go and trust life and my instincts more and more. I've learned that our minds are just the sum total of what we know and we have done so far. Anything outside of what they know is considered difficult or dangerous.

Our intuition however does not have such limitations and can lead us down roads we never even knew existed. This requires us to be vulnerable and to sacrifice certainty for possibility but now I think perhaps life isn't about knowing but rather just a process of discovering.

7) More Creativity
I feel more and more creativity bubbling up within me, probably because I am not dismissing it. There was a while where I didn't feel like blogging but now my mind is overflowing with ideas. I also feel drawn to drawing and cartooning and have some new ideas to play with in terms of teaching using words, images and accelerated learning. The more I follow these instincts the more it seems to me there is no limit to the possibilities within me.  

8) More Courage
My courage is growing exponentially. With each new challenge tackled I feel more ready and willing to take on the next and that feeling of adrenaline which was once a red stop light is becoming more like a green light, the excitement that fuels me taking the challenge on. One of the side-effects of this is I am finding myself in more leadership roles. 

9) More Me
The biggest difference overall is I feel I am becoming more of myself every day. This might not seem like much of a superpower on the surface but in a world where most of us never feel quite good enough and are desperately trying to be someone else, it's pretty cool. 

I'm more honest, more open and spontaneous and I just feel more like a real person than someone trying to fit in and not raise too many eyebrows. It feels like I am regaining the curiosity and naturalness of a child married to the independence and wisdom of an adult. 

"If it doesn't challenge you, it doesn't change you." Fred DeVito

What is your challenge today?

Daily Challenges
Following a conversation between Richard White and myself towards the end of 2014, Richard decided to do something fun each day of 2015. This evolved into setting himself daily challenges great and small. A blog, Facebook Group and workshop soon followed and the idea and community continues to grow. 

FB Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/dailychallenges365/

Richard's Blog: www.livefromyourheart.life 

#152 - PROMISES PROMISES PROMISES!

Are you up-to-date on your promises? 

One of my mentors once told me that our abundance comes down to our perception and our perception comes down to our integrity, our ability to keep promises. 

Recently I challenged myself to make a List of Promises which I have made and not yet kept. 

It made for a very uncomfortable read...

Not only was the list a lot longer than I expected but afterwards I began to realise how easily I add to this list every day. So often my mouth is not connected to my brain or my diary:

"Yeah I'll email that stuff to you."
"Cool, I'll give you a call and we'll get together."

Often these promises come from me genuinely wanting to help people or spend time with them but I now understand that both a firm commitment to honour each and every promise I make and some way of recording all of them is essential. This is the only way my Promises Made to Promises Kept ratio (shout out to Brian Johnson) will be 1:1.

Perhaps more importantly than this, my word to myself and to others must be sacred for me to live with integrity. As a result I'm making two changes:

1) I'm now keeping a written record of every promise I make
2) I am making less promises 

I have to say though, working through this list feels really good...

Are you up-to-date on your promises? 

"Of all your promises, the most important ones are the ones you make to yourself."Mark Hernacki

the w0nd3r on Facebook

#151 - The Beauty of Not Knowing

When are you going to accept the fact that there is a bigger picture than the one you can see?

It is ironic that what we call reality makes up such an infinitesimally amount of all that actually is.

What might exist outside the limits of visible light?

Link to Science3D.org

What sounds are there beyond our range of human hearing?

Link to image on bbc.co.uk

How much more could there be beyond our ability to even conceive of?

And yet we have the audacity to talk about "reality" and how much we "know."

The truth is we know next to nothing. Our bodies and brains are still largely a mystery to us and consciousness by its very nature defies the conscious mind's desire to define, measure or understand it. In all these areas we have our best guess, and that we can only hold on to until such time as we can make a better guess. And on and on it goes like an infinite set of Russian dolls. Atoms, sub atomic particles, the Higgs Boson particle. 

Consciousness becoming conscious of itself like a dog chasing its tail. 

But is it so terrible a thing to not know?

What are some of the potential benefits of not knowing?

Mystery

Curiosity

Possibility

Excitement

Adventure

LIFE

Not knowing may feel uncomfortable but without it our comfort zones become our prisons. We have no new experiences, our lives become meaningless. We see this first-hand in those who are no longer curious about life.

Our brains are wired to seek security as a survival instinct but the truth is knowing is a full-stop, a dead-end. 

"Monotony collapses time, novelty expands it." 
Justin Foer, Moonwalking With Einstein

Growth requires courage, vulnerability and uncertainty. 

Letting go of what we know is necessary to be present and it requires courage, vulnerability and uncertainty. It takes humility and self-discipline to not be cowed by the "Little Me" within and step into the unknown in order to grow. 

Our minds may not like not knowing, but not knowing is the only way forward.

#150 - Finding Forever

This post is dedicated to my friend John Danias. 

Johnny and I - 7/3/15

As you can see our interaction is usually restricted to punching each other in the face but on this particular evening we're having a chat about mindfulness. Lately there is a different kind of light in his eyes and it looks like this mindfulness business is the reason. Little did I know that this conversation would change me and my life. 

Johnny: "Do you know I realised that the time when I am happiest is when I am on the train on a Friday evening going home?"
Me: "Really?"
Johnny: "Yeah, when I am standing on that train at 5:30pm on a Friday, surrounded by strangers, at that point when all the possibilities of my weekend are still there... that feeling of anticipation, THAT is when I'm happiest. That is the high point of my week."

He was like a curious scientist observing his mind, striving for objectivity and loving the journey. His new perspective meant he could find gold in the most mundane experiences. 

I knew something had shifted in me after that conversation but the epiphany which followed surprised me. The next day was payday, and apart from putting a percentage aside for savings and attending to expenses etc, buying a book or several is my usual habit. But I remembered what Johnny said and in a fraction of a second I reverse engineered the whole process of how I create and satisfy the desire for new books. 

I read the reviews, I imagine reading the book and all the new ideas and information within it which could help me and others, I build this excitement until my heartbeat actually quickens and I am physically craving it. Sometimes to seal the deal I rationalise and tell myself it's an investment in my future. Then when I am virtually salivating and totally convinced I click "buy now" and I get that little hit of dopamine. 

And then what happens?

Well, not much actually. As Johnny said there is nothing quite like anticipation. Generally once I own the book I am not nearly as excited about it. In fact, I'm not too proud to admit that I've attempted to buy a few books twice and Amazon have had to remind me I already own them! However as amusing as this whole process now seems to me it never stopped me from going through the whole thing again as soon as I came across the next "must-have book". 

It was like a trick I'd played on myself again and again.

I didn't buy a book that week, in fact I didn't buy any books for a few weeks and my book-buying habits have now changed irreversibly. I realised that my mind is PERPETUALLY DISSATISFIED and its whims are not a reliable form of guidance. As I continue to practise mindfulness (or nonjudgmental awareness) it becomes increasingly clear to me how my mind is always looking for something better. It tries to cling to a golden past or dream of a perfect future, it does everything it can to avoid the present moment. One example of this is when I have free time, sometimes I find my mind is almost anxiously striving to make the most out of that time because it is so limited. Instead of being fully absorbed in the present it is preoccupied with what I could be missing out on. Did I choose the best thing to be doing right now? Ironically it is this very diffusion of attention that takes away from enjoying these precious moments and makes time seem to fly by too quickly. 

What is really real?

Practising mindfulness and meditative awareness begins to free you from the knee-jerk reactions of your mind. It starts to become obvious that things are only "good" or "bad" depending on how we decide to categorise them. You also learn firsthand that everything is transient. Thoughts, feelings, experiences, in fact life itself...is fleeting. Everything is in a state of flux. 

I have come to the conclusion that the only thing that is constant is our awareness itself, that actually the most important thing is the least tangible. Even though I still have my goals and I am determined to achieve them I am not attached to them any more. I have connected with something at my core which is real and untouchable, something beyond my mind and beyond space and time. 

I call this finding forever. 

Recommended Reading
The Untethered Soul by Michael A Singer Click for Amazon UK & Amazon US

#149 - Why Your New Year's Resolutions Don't Work And...

...How to Build Any Habit

A recent study at Hertfordshire University found that 88% of the sample group were unsuccessful with New Year's Resolutions. 

Why is this? And why is it so hard to change ourselves?

Are we too lazy? Or unmotivated? Or do we just not have the willpower?

A: Yes
A: Yes
A: Yes and no

1. Willpower is a limited resource

Recent neuroscience and willpower research have revealed that willpower is actually a limited resource ie the amount you have at a given time on a given day will vary depending on what you have been dealing with.

2. Willpower is reduced when we are faced with a difficult task or a task we perceive as difficult

3. Our brains have a bias for efficiency
To create a new habit is to literally rewire our brains and our brains are resistant to big changes. They would much prefer firing familiar beaten track of neural pathways even if they are not particularly supportive habits. 

These points explain why almost 9 out of 10 resolutions in the aforementioned study failed. 

Generally speaking people try to do too much too soon.

For example, perhaps you join a gym and commit to training 3 times per week and eating more healthily (2 habits). Initially your willpower gets you through but this is depleted by these new demands and then maybe one day you have a particularly rough day at work or an argument with your partner. Just the thought of training for an hour weakens your already depleted willpower further (perceived difficulty) and you swap tonight's session for tv and cake (failing with both habits). Before you know it you have missed a few sessions and given up the belief you can maintain your new habits. Eventually all you have left is a feeling of failure, and perhaps your gym membership. 

Each time we fail to do what we say we will do, whether that is keeping our word to others or ourselves it weakens us. It erodes our trust in ourselves and our self-esteem. 

But we can reverse this process so that we are consistently successful in taking action every day towards our goals.

The solution is to chunk new habits down. 

Last year I experimented with this by applying it to exercise and reading around a specific subject. I committed to 2 min chunks daily and was very successful because I often did more than 2 minutes but the minimum of 2 minutes was always achievable so nothing stopped me from getting started each day. Within a few weeks I could see the difference in my physique and it was at that point that I extended the minimum, not knowing that in doing so I was increasing the perceived difficulty of the task and reducing my willpower. Soon after this I broke the chain of actions I'd been building and stopped. 

I came back to studying habits recently and after reading several books I began building some new habits. I have learned that a very small daily quota is actually the key to making sure you consistent in taking action and when it comes to building habits consistency is key. 

Once you have picked the daily habit you want to build the next step is to begin and track it. I have read several books on this subject and synthesised ideas from them but have found 1 Minute Habits by Ragib Ahmed the most useful and efficient. 

If you would like to look into this subject further I would recommend the following books:

1 Minute Habit by Ragib Ahmed

Superman Habit by Habit by Tynan
1% Principle by Tom O'Neill

#148 - Control the Rhythm

"All warfare is based on deception."
Sun Tzu, The Art of War

Link to image

I'm watching a game of pool.

It's Winner Stays On and the guy that beat me has just been trounced by the latest challenger. 6 out of his 7 balls are still on the table and he was beaten so quickly it was almost embarassing. .

I am next up and sitting on my stool I'm thinking to myself:

"How do I beat this guy?"

He's clearly more skilled than me. I know I can play a bit but anyone that can pot 7 balls that quickly with virtually no mistakes is not someone I can match shot for shot.

Then it hits me. In boxing, one of the keys to winning is to not let your opponent do what he wants to do. This guy likes to play fast - maybe he needs to play fast.

I wait for him to ask who is next then I get up and stroll over to the table slowly. I'm whistling to myself, taking my time racking up the 15 balls into a triangle. I drag the process out, like a perfectionist playing on his own with all the time in the world. I spin the black ball and lift the triangle motioning  to him to begin. He unleashes a sledghammer break as though he's got a plane to catch, potting two (spots) and spreading the balls well. By the time I get on the table I'm down three but I take my time, whistling, chalking up my queue, measuring the angles on a few different possible shots. He looks restless, like he's itching to get back on the table, I think I'm actually singing to myself(?)

He gets back on the table in a hurry, misses an easy shot and curses himself.

I smile inside.

"Don't play the game, play the man."

I can't remember who said that but they knew their stuff. Again I take my time, measuring angles, whistling, moving to my own rhythm almost dancing around the table. I pot one ball and then while lining up another shot one of my crew taps me on the shoulder as a picture is being taken.

"Perfect!" I'm thinking to myself, as I lean into the shot throwing up a peace sign horizontally like the cool kids do.

I get back on the table and pot another.

The Speedster's impatience is growing, he hits his next shot much too hard and fouls, giving me two shots and yet more time for my little experiment.

I didn't play particularly well, in fact I missed a few easy shots but much like the tortoise to the hare in that famous children't story I was more consistent. The Speedster was so thrown off by the change of tempo that he missed several easy shots and I won the game.

It reminded me of something the late great, Sugar Ray Robinson once said which I will paraphrase:

"Boxing is all about rhythm and that starts with your heart...if that isn't right then you're in trouble. Once you control the rhythm you control the fight, and the fighter who controls the fight wins."

CONTROL THE RHYTHM

Sugar Ray Robinson & Muhammad Ali (link to image)

#147 - Closing the Gap

Click here for image on visioncritical.com

"I want you to close the gap between where you get your money from and what you are committed to. Because if you are making money over there but you're committed over here eventually it's going to pull you apart. What you really want to do is make your money where your commitment is and then you will get paid for doing what you would do for free." Bishop T D Jakes