#70 - Multidimensional

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"It's difficult to understand the universe if you only study one planet."
Miyamoto Musashi, Book of Five Rings

#69 - Vulnerable Much?

"Vulnerability is the core, the heart, and the centre of human relationships."
Brene Brown, Daring Greatly

So I have this recurring dream about being naked in a public place. Yeah, I'm going there. It's one of several recurring dreams I've had on and off for 20+ years. One of the others was a dream where I was being chased by people trying to kill me. That particular dream stopped one night when during the dream I turned to face the people who were chasing me knowing that I was facing certain death. The dream ended there and then, it was as though the lesson had been learned and I never had it again. 

As for the naked dream, the last time I had that dream instead of freaking out and frantically trying to find some cover I felt strangely at ease in the discomfort. I think writing and public speaking are teaching me to get more and more comfortable with being uncomfortable and this is starting to carry over into different areas of my life. The interesting thing is some would say I'm quite guarded but when it comes to creativity whether speaking or writing I feel compelled to do so in a way that often makes me feel, well, naked. It's hard to put into words but for me art is sacred so I feel a responsibility to do work which has a positive impact. That is my intention.   

Writing this isn't comfortable. It would be easier to hide behind the work or the voice of someone else. Standing up in front of a group of people and attempting to share something which I hope will inspire them, while knowing all my flaws and weaknesses, isn't comfortable. Telling someone I feel upset by something they have done, feeling that hurt and trying to speak about it honestly rather than verbally destroying them or acting like it was nothing and burying it inside is not comfortable. But it is in this space that healing takes place, where old patterns come up to be repeated or transformed. It is in this space of vulnerability that we grow and others can grow with us. 

"It's easy for me to be flooded by a cocky feeling or to put on show for you. But to express oneself honestly. Man, that's really tough." 
Bruce Lee, Interview w/Pierre Burton 1971

YT Link

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#68 - Bittersweet

"Industries can't poison people en masse forever."
Dr Robert Lustig, Guardian 24-8-14

100g of sugar & 1L of blackcurrant juice

Last year one of the catalysts for me changing my diet was a conversation with my friend and massage therapist extraordinaire Kristina Mendez Matejova. It got me to start looking at food as energy, "...meat is dead energy" she said. I suppose this is pretty obvious but for some reason something clicked. I immediately stopped eating meat altogether. 

I would NOT recommend this.

If you are considering moving to a plant-based diet I'd recommend checking out the Vegetarian Society's website where they advise you on gradually making changes (ie cutting out red meat to start with and then later chicken) and ensuring that you are taking the right supplements to ensure your body is getting all the vitamins and minerals it needs. 

Kristina also mentioned Dr Robert Lustig's book Fat Chance: The Bitter Truth About Sugar and suggested I check out his YT video. I did and I was both shocked and disgusted. If you are interested in nutrition, health and/or obesity I'd recommend checking it out. 

YouTube Link

At the start of the talk Dr Lustig says that he intends to debunk the past 30 years of nutrition information in America. He argues that high-fructose corn syrup shares 8 of the 12 characteristics found in poison and a diet high in fructose is the key to the obesity epidemic sweeping the globe. He also speaks about how low-fat usually means high in carbohydrates, or high in HFCS. I began looking at the labels of some of the things in my fridge and my cupboards. I was shocked to see how much sugar was contained in some of these products but the icing on the cake was when I looked at the label of this carton of blackcurrant juice. 

Here's the proof in case you think I was exaggerating with the first picture. 

Carbohydrates (of which sugars) = 10g sugar per 100 ml 

= 100g sugar per 1 Litre

The chances are that the sugar in this is high fructose corn syrup so it's not even as good for you as the brown sugar in the picture above. I'd already stopped drinking sugared-sweetened soft drinks for the most part (apart from very occasionally) but now I understood why I'd made the right decision. When I look at the drink and the food being sold to consumers today, particularly the products targeted at children I find it mind-boggling. At the same time if we don't take responsibility for our own health we should not be surprised if our ignorance is exploited. 

Thanks Kristina. 

"Read the label."
Gza, Labels

Further Reading & Info (click)

Fat Chance: The Bitter Truth About Sugar by Dr Robert Lustig

Pure White and Deadly by John Yudkin
Guardian article: Robert Lustig; the man who believes sugar is poison
Food Inc - Film

Dr Robert Lustig MD is an internationally renowned pediatric endocrinologist who has spent 16 years treating childhood obesity and studying the effects of sugar on the central nervous system, metabolism and disease.

#67 - "If You're Not Creating Your Own World..."

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"If you're not creating your own world you have to ask yourself: who's world are you creating?"
Ralph Smart

#66 - "Shhhhh..." (8 Whispers of Wisdom)

Interviewer: "Are you a Hindu?"

Ghandi: "Yes I am, I am also a Muslim, a Christian, a Buddhist and a Jew."

Hindu

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Muslim

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Christian

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Buddhist

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Jewish

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Taoist

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Mystic...

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#65 - Guidance

Link to Marius Szmerdt - Samurai Art

"To make the right choices in life you have to get in touch with your soul. To do this you need to experience solitude, which most people are afraid of, because in the silence you hear the truth and know the solutions."

Deepak Chopra

#64 - *Change Your Password Change Your Life by Tony Henry*

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How many passwords do you have? How would you like a technique that makes your passwords memorable, fun and potentially life-changing?

Today's post comes from Tony Henry. Tony has a weekly mailout which he calls the MMF, which is not nearly as rude as it sounds. This particular edition of the Monday Morning Fix really spoke to me, it told me that it wanted a wider readership. 

The process is similar to the repetition of the 10-Goal Technique (#47) and possibly more powerful depending how often you use your passwords. Over to you Mr Henry... 

   

In life we are often faced with decisions which impact our lives both positively and negatively. The trick is to develop the confidence to seize the opportunities when presented. The difference between ordinary and extra ordinary are the decisions we make and the opportunities we take.

A story I came across definitely worth sharing….

It was 2011 and I was stuck in middle of a pretty bad depression due to my divorce.

Thankfully, I think I was smart enough (and had great people around me) so I managed my way out.

One day I walk into the office, and my computer screen showed me the following message:

“Your password has expired. Click ‘Change password’ to change your password.”

I read this dumb message in my mind with an angry grandpa voice: The darn password has expired.

At my workplace, the Microsoft Exchange server is configured to ask thousands of employees around the planet to change their passwords every 30 days. Here what’s annoying: The server forces us to use at least one UPPERCASE character, at least one lowercase alphabetic character, at least one symbol and at least one number. Oh, and the whole thing can’t be less than 8 characters. And I can’t use any of the same passwords I’ve used in the last 3 months.

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I was furious that morning. A sizzling hot Tuesday, it was 9:40 am and I was late to work. I was still wearing my bike helmet and had forgotten to eat breakfast. I needed to get things done before a 10 am meeting and changing passwords was going to be a huge waste of time. As the input field with the pulsating cursor was waiting for me to type a password — something I’d use many times during every day — I remembered a tip I heard from my former boss and I decided: I’m gonna use a password to change my life.

It was obvious that I couldn’t focus on getting things done with my current lifestyle and mood. Of course, there were clear indicators of what I needed to do — or what I had to achieve — in order to regain control of my life, but we often don’t pay attention to these clues. My password became the indicator. My password reminded me that I shouldn’t let myself be victim of my recent break up, and that I’m strong enough to do something about it.

My password became: “Forgive@h3r”

I had to type this statement several times a day. Each time my computer would lock. Each time my screensaver with her photo would appear. Each time I would come back from eating lunch alone. In my mind, I went with the mantra that I didn’t type a password. In my mind, I wrote “Forgive her” every day, for one month. That simple action changed the way I looked at my ex-wife. That constant reminder that I should forgive her led me to accept the way things happened at the end of my marriage, and embrace a new way of dealing with the depression that I was drowning into.

In the following days, my mood improved drastically. By the end of the second week, I noticed that this password became less powerful, and it started to lose its effect. A quick refresh of this ‘mantra’ helped me. I thought to myself “I forgive her” as I typed it, every time. The healing effect of it came back almost immediately. One month later, my dear exchange server asked me again to renew my password. I thought about the next thing I had to get done.

My password became: Quit@smoking4ever and guess what happened. I quit smoking overnight. This password was a painful one to type during that month, but doing it helped me to yell at myself in my mind, as I typed that statement. It motivated me to follow my monthly goal. One month later, my password became: Save4trip@thailand Guess where I went 3 months later. Thailand. With savings.

So, I learned that I can truly change my life if I play it right. I kept doing this repeatedly month after month, with great results. Here are some of my passwords from the last 2 years, so you get an idea of how my life has changed, thanks to this method:

• Forgive@her (to my ex-wife, who started it all.)
• Quit@smoking4ever (It worked.)
• Save4trip@thailand (It worked.)
• Eat2times@day (It never worked, still fat.)
• Sleep@before12 (It worked.)
• Ask@her4date (It worked. I fell in love again.)
• No@drinking2months (It worked. I feel better.)
• Get@c4t! (It worked. I have a beautiful cat.)
• Facetime2mom@sunday (It worked. I talk with my mom every week.)

And the one for last month:

• Save4@ring (Yep. Life is gonna change again, soon.)

I still eagerly await each month so I can change my password into something that I need to get done.

This method has consistently worked for me for the last 2 years, and I have shared it with a few close friends and relatives. I didn’t think it was a breakthrough in tiny-habits but it did have a great impact in my life, so that’s why I’m sharing it with you. If you try it with the right mind-set and attitude, maybe it could help change your life, too. Oh, and remember: for added security, try to be a bit more complex with the words. Add symbols or numbers, or scramble a bit the beginning or the ending of your password string. S4f3ty_f1rst!

Tony Henry is an entrepreneur, writer, speaker, coach, mentor and philanthropist.

To receive Tony's weekly mailout send me your email address through the contact form to the left or email me at sterling.to@gmail.com.  

#63 - "So What's Stopping You?"

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Sometimes one simple distinction, one idea or one question can put you on a completely different track.

Reading Hypnosis for Running by Adam Eason I came across such a question. It's a question which he suggests you ask yourself when you have a goal that has not yet been achieved:

"So what's stopping you?"

Eason posits that the answers to this question can reveal any unconscious limiting beliefs which may be holding you back.

"Our actions may be impeded...but there can be no impeding our intentions or dispositions. Because we can accomodate and adapt. The mind adapts and converts its own purposes the obstacle to our acting. The impediment to action advances action. What stands in the way becomes the way."
Marcus Aurelius, Meditations

What's stopping you?

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Recommended Reading
Hypnosis for Running by Adam Eason (UK & US)
The Obstacle is the Way: The Ancient Art of Turning Adversity into Advantage by Ryan Holiday (UK & US)

#62 - When Less is More

If I talk too much nobody listens. 

If I give too much no-one appreciates. 

If I take myself too seriously others laugh at me. 

Sometimes less is more. 

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#61 - Who's In Your Circle?

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"There is no holding point in life. People are either elevating you to greatness or they are dragging you down into the gutter. Who is in your circle?"
Les Brown

Link to Video

Who's in your circle? Eagles or chickens?

In this excellent video world-class coach Colin Hiles ("The Mindset Guy") provides a two-step exercise that helps answer this question. I've learned and continue to learn lots from Mr Hiles and I look forward to sharing more of his work with you.

Thanks Colin. 

Colin Hiles YouTube Channel
Colin Hiles Blog

#60 - Follow Your Bliss Part 2

"...the idea of fulfilling work, that is a job that embodies your values, your talents your passions, that's a thoroughly modern invention. If you open Samuel Johnson's famous dictionary published in 1755 you'll find that the word fulfillment isn't even there. What's happened is that over the last few decades we've had a rising expectation for work which is more than just a salary. That's why today in the western world 60% of workers say they are unfulfilled by their jobs."
Roman Kznaric

Link to book

After I wrote Follow Your Bliss Mr Bernie Murphy sent me this video of Roman Kznaric in the comment section:

YouTube Link

I watched the video and bought Roman's book which gave me some interesting ideas. He suggests volunteering as a way of trying work in a new area and getting working experience by offering to work for free. 

One of his most interesting stories was about a friend of his who spent a year trying multiple careers. I thought this was a brilliant idea as I think most people take a certain career path and get comfortable and/or stuck. I took the same approach over the past year experimenting with boxing coaching, personal training, hypnotherapy, teaching, blogging and motivational speaking. Most of this work was unpaid but it really helped me to see what I enjoy most and where to focus my efforts. 

Recommended Reading
How to Find Fulfilling Work by Roman Kznaric
How to Get a Job You Love by John Lees

Useful Links
John Lees Associates (UK)
Lika Coaching (UK)

#59 - Run Free

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Our comfort zones become our prisons if we allow them to. 

I've been running again recently. Last week I listened to Scott Jurek's audiobook "Eat and Run: My Unlikely Journey to Ultramarathon Greatness" and was blown away by what I was hearing. Ultrarunners I discovered are the masochists who think 26-mile marathons aren't long enough. The most common distances for ultramarathons range from 32 to 100 miles but there are many races that have much longer distances. Some races are run by time insead of distance, for example the author set an American record by running 165 miles in 24 hours. 

At one point as a result of hardcore training and a vegan diet Jurek could wake up, go for a short run (5-6miles), go to work for 8-10 hours and then run 10-20 miles in the evening. He said that because he had a plant-based diet his recovery time accelerated so much he woke up fresh each morning with more energy and no muscle soreness. He was able to eat more, lose excess weight and build lean muscle simultaneously. As well as providing some tips on running and some interesting recipes he also references some fascinating books:

Some quotes from Running and Being by George Sheehan:

To his children: "If you don't have a challenge, find one."

"A runner is not in a game. He is in a contest. And that is a word whose Latin root means to witness or testify. Therefore anything else than all he can give is not enough. When you race you are under oath. You are testifying as to who you are."

"Sin is the failure to reach your potential. Guilt is the unlived life."

Jurek also mentioned the Marathon Monks of Mount Hiei by John Stevens. It is about a sect of Buddhist monks who as the final part of their training run 100 marathons of 52.5 miles in 100 days. 

Link to book

Jurek, Sheehan and the Marathon Monks (although I haven't read the latter) made me realise I wasn't really running before - I was jogging, staying in my comfort zone most of the time. A common thread running through all these books is using running as a way to transcend physical limits and with them the limits of the self. They are not really books about running, they are books about freedom, about going beyond our comfort zones, beyond our limits to experience transcendence and realise our true potential. 

#58 - 2 Keys to Life

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In 2010 before I came back to boxing I decided I'd start running to build my stamina and entered the Dublin half-marathon as I knew it would give me the extra motivation to run regularly. One of the things that inspired me was this video (2min 5 secs):

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Years later I grasp the truth of what Mr Smith said on a much deeper level. 

#57 - 3 Reasons Why You Are Not Too Old

"Do not go gentle into that good night. Rage, rage against the dying of the light." Dylan Thomas

I've never quite managed to wrap my head around the idea of aging. There is a part of me which is ageless, eternally curious and growing and it doesn't like the idea of limitation or physical deterioriation. 

I think a lot of people age badly because they become old in their thinking, they hold on to the past, they stop learning, they don't exercise and they eat crap. I've met people in their twenties who are already old. 

"If you start thinking you're old subconsciously, your conscious mind is going to take hold of that and your body is going to start acting old, feeling old, then you're old."
Sam Bryant Jr

Thankfully there are many who exemplify my unwillingness to "go gentle into that good night". Here are three living breathing reasons why I will not be using age as an excuse for anything...

1. Sister Madonna Buder "The Iron Nun" is 84 (Born 24th July 1930)

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-started training at age 48, ran first marathon at 52. 
-set new world record for oldest person to finish an Ironman Triathlon at age 82.
NB. The Ironman Triathlon is a 2.4 mile swim, 112 mile bicycle ride & 26.2 mile run

"If life doesn't have some challenges it's not worth living, right?"
Sister Madonna Buder

2. Sam "Sonny" Bryant Jr at 70 (Born in 1943)

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-started training at age 44 to relieve stress from his failing marriage
-placed 3rd in first contest a year later
-still bodybuilding 27 years later

"People think its age that makes you old, but I believe it's your state of mind that makes you old. Age is just a number. It gives most people a reason to be lazy and not do anything. I meet a lot of people who say, "wait till I get to that age." Then I tell them how old I am and they are embarassed. And I tell them that to make a point - it's inactivity and your state of mind that make you old."
Sam Bryant Jr

3. Bernard "The Alien" Hopkins is 49 (Born Jan 15th 1965)

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-current IBF, WBA & IBA Light Heavyweight Boxing Champion of the World (55W 6L 2D)
-sentenced to 17 years at age 18 for 9 felonies, focused on boxing while in Graterford Prison, released age 23
-at age 49 became the oldest boxer to ever win a world title

"Now I'm in this world but I'm not of this world. There is no aging process for me. The breaking news is that I'm an alien."
Bernard Hopkins

It's easy to say that these people are anomalies, but I think that is a convenient excuse and as Les Brown said: "when we argue for our limitations we get to keep them." I read an article once which said the average at which most people stop regular exercise is 34 after this they put on about 1 pound of weight each year. This is the norm. 

Nowadays there are people all over the world challenging this norm; rejecting the idea of going downhill after 40, people running marathons, ultramarathons, triathlons and even Ironman Triathlons. I'm reading a book at the moment by George Sheehan called Running and Being. Sheehan also argued that age is a myth. He started running at age 45 and ran his personal best for the marathon (3 hours 1 minute) at the age of 61. 

I decided long ago I'd never get out of shape or sloppy but learning about these people has made me realise that not having a beer belly is not enough. They have changed my concept of what is possible. I hope they have inspired you too. 

Special thanks to Andrea Krug, your speech last week about aging where you introduced me to Sam Bryant Jr inspired this post. 

PS. 99 year old Ida Keeling setting world record for 100m sprint on 12 August 2014

Interview with Sister Madonna Buder
Sam Bryant Jr Facebook & Augusta Chronicle Article
Bernard Hopkins Facebook  

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#56 - What's Your Why?

"Working hard for something we don't care about is called stress. Working hard for something we love is called passion."
Simon Sinek

"One person with a belief is equal to that of 99 who have only interests."
Sir John Mills

What's your why?

Earlier this year I read Start with Why by Simon Sinek. In it he talks about how most businesses focus on how and what but actually why is the first and most important question to ask. 

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Sinek explains how there is a consistent pattern running through greatness in all fields. Those that accomplish the remarkable function in the completely opposite way to the majority:

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Here are a few of the reasons why a clear sense of why is so powerful:

#55 - Thanks For Hard Times

"Somewhere along the line we seem to have confused comfort with happiness. I've now come to believe that quite the opposite is the case. Dostoyevsky had it right: "Suffering is the sole origin of consciousness." Never are my senses more engaged than when the pain sets in. There is magic in misery. Just ask any runner." Dean Karnazes 

It dawned on me today that the toughest things we go through result in the most growth. These are often the times that are most transformative and enlightening, the times when we learn about ourselves and those around us on a deeper level. 

Perhaps if you look back on your greatest challenges you'll see the same pattern?

It also struck me that if things aren't too bad then we may not have the necessary motivation to make any changes in the first place. We can procrastinate, make excuses, stay in our comfort zones. "That job/relationship/____________) isn't that bad really...I mean it could be a lot worse" we tell ourselves and the nonsense continues. 

It's often when we hit rock bottom, when we "get tired of being tired" as Tyrese put it recently that we make a committed decision and take action. 

Of course it's easier to see the lessons and the value of hard times in retrospect when those times have passed and we are a little wiser. When the mind is unclouded by stress or pain we can look back with appreciation and understanding. But why wait until then? 

If you're going through it right now find the gift in the apparent curse :) you are being prepared for the next level, give thanks...and keep going. 

"Good timber does not grow with ease, the stronger the wind, the stronger the trees."
Douglas Malloch

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#54 - "It's so sad..." (Robin Williams 1951-2014)

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I was shocked to hear of the death of Robin Williams yesterday. My sincere condolences to his family and friends and all those that were close to him.

I was a little saddened to hear of his passing actually but more than anything I was surprised. I grew up watching Mork and Mindy, I love Dead Poet Society and Goodwill Hunting was pretty special. I was also impressed by how creepy he was in One Hour Photo. The fact he succesfully made the switch from his manic free-flowing style of stand-up to serious acting, and he could hold his own on screen with the likes of Pacino is no mean feat. The man had guts, and range. 

I saw lots of people posting stuff about him on social media and commenting with words to the effect of: "It's so sad" or "I'm so sad". Here is the thing that struck me:

#53 - Perfect Timing

Link to image @ Mind Unleashed

"The highest good is like water.
Water gives life to the ten thousand things and does not strive.
It flows in places men reject and so is like the Tao.
In dwelling, be close to the land. 

In meditation, go deep in the heart. 

In dealing with others, be gentle and kind.
In speech, be true. 

In ruling, be just. 

In business, be competent.

In action, watch the timing. 

No fight: no blame"
Chapter 8, Tao Te Ching

Recommended Reading:

Tao te Ching by Lao Tzu, William Scott Translation

Link to Free PDF of Ron Hogan's Tarantino-style translation

#52 - "What Do You Love?"

When I meet people for the first time I don't ask them what they do for a living, I ask them what they love. 

This is because most people are not doing what they love for a living, they are doing what they feel they have to do or doing what they ended up doing so usually it doesn't make for great conversation.

You can always tell if this is the case because there is no passion in their voice when they describe their work. Their job is something they tolerate. Usually it's not awful enough for them to leave but it's not good enough to make them feel happy or fulfilled either so it just kills them softly day by day

#51 - How Often Do You Unplug?

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I recently had a last-minute break in Lanzarote with my Lady. I decided to take my friend Karen's advice, to leave my laptop at home and just enjoy nature. 

Initially I was a little uncomfortable with the idea but in the end there were numerous benefits:

#50 - Personal Development vs Self-Realisation

Svjetlana Tepavcevic Website & Link to image

From a young age I've been obsessed with learning. I think of life as a school where we are all students and teachers. I like this metaphor and for the most part it works well for me but I think there can be some potential pitfalls associated with ceaseless personal development, including: 

-never feeling good enough
-always looking for the next book/course/seminar
-having a lot of knowledge but little wisdom

Our minds are restless, never satisfied, and if our learning comes from the place of feeling inadequate or insecure then it will never be truly fulfilling. Conceptualising our growth as though we are buildings which we are always adding floors to is very different to the growth of a seed which contains all its potential within. One is incomplete, the other as whole at every stage even as it is becoming more.

No-one looks at a baby and says:

"Look how undeveloped that child is, how poor its language and motor skills are! It's useless! It would be a lot better if it could walk and talk.

#49 - Mini-Meditations

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So many of us have busy minds and busy lives to match. In addition to an incessant stream of thoughts and all the things we have to do in a day, many of us are also plugged into technology for information and communication. 

There can be an unconscious zombiefied quality to this kind of living where we are glued to one screen after another and we lose the connection to ourselves and the present moment. Another day flies past and we haven't been present for much of it.  

A mini-meditation is just one or two deep breaths with full awareness.
I've been using them more lately and I find they centre me and bring me back to the present moment. They're particularly useful when I'm stressed or I've allowed something or someone to take me off track. 

A deep breath releases stress and triggers the relaxation response. 

If this resonates with you try slipping a few mini-meds into the flow of your day and see what happens. 

"Music is the space between the notes."
Claude Debussy

#48 - Start With A Smile

How do you usually start the day?

What's your first thought, your first feeling, your first action?

Try this: when you wake up tomorrow morning, before you even open your eyes, smile. 

I'm not a morning person yet (I'm working on it) but this works wonders.