#128 - "So What Are You Gonna Do?"

Link to image

This is fast becoming my favourite question. 

It focuses on solutions, it looks forward, it puts whoever you are speaking to in the driving seat by giving them the responsibility. 

There are some people who just want to talk your ear off, the "volunteer victims" as Les Brown calls them who incessantly complain about their problems until you can feel the life-force draining from your body. I don't think enabling this behaviour is helpful to the complainer or the listener. Interestingly I find with a true die-hard complainer this simple question is like kryptonite to Superman. It often stops the conversation dead in its tracks or sends it in a different direction because the complainer has no intention of doing anything other than complain.  

On the other hand if the person is open to finding a solution...

#127 - Can 5 Minutes A Day Change Your Life?

Link to image

Yes.

I'm tempted to just end the post there :)

At the end of #97 - 5 Minutes a Day to Change Your Life I said I was going to visualise for 5 minutes every day for 21 days. The challenge was to focus on visualising intently with the strong feelings of accomplishing a goal. 

Well, not only did I complete this 21-Day Challenge I managed to recruit 5 other Imagineers to join me on this noble quest. Shout out to the 21-Day Challenge Crew...

It was an amazing experience and what follows are some of my own learnings and successes. I'm listing things which seemed out of the ordinary:

Challenges
-limited beliefs: am I visualising what I want or what I think is possible? Do I deserve to have the things I want? This feels great and good things are happening, part of me feels uncomfortable with creating things so easily.
-self-sabotage: mind tried to procrastinate on visualising; mind tried to change goal of visualisation repeatedly or complicate things by bringing more than one goal into visualisation

Successes
-multiple job opportunities, several "out of nowhere"
-multiple speaking offers
-winning money and finding money
-first paid speaking gig (I actually offered to do it for free but author insisted)
-joined Professional Speakers Association
-feeling of greater control of myself and my life

Learnings-I need to have one major challenge/goal to focus on at a time
-we can influence events based on our thoughts, feeling and expectations
-time is subjective/relative
-our minds really are on auto-pilot 95% of the time
-the imagination has an intelligence of its own
-visualisation + action is powerful

Many of us found that visualising brought to the surface the "blocks" - the fears and limited beliefs preventing us from becoming who we really are. This wasn't comfortable or easy to face but it showed us what needed to be worked on. 

We all experienced some magic and for a few of us I can honestly say it was life-changing. 

I would recommend this to anyone who is interested in personal development, the mind or gaining a deeper understanding of themselves. 

The next 21 Day Challenge (C#2) will run from Saturday 25th Oct - 14th Nov and 7 of us are taking part. 

Do you accept the challenge?

It's only 5 minutes a day...

#126 - You Already Know

Link to image

"Everybody knows what to do to be successful, the problem is they don't do what they know."
Larry Winget

As I mentioned in #122 - Coaching Academy Free Training, I spent the weekend on a coaching course. It has had a huge and lasting effect on the way I communicate. As a former heavyweight champion of unsolicited advice it is amazing to be able to just listen and be a mirror so that people can see clearly. What it took me a long time to realise is that when you give unsolicited advice you are indirectly saying that you know better than the person you are advising.

"I know how to live your life better than you do", is a pretty bold statement and potentially a disrespectful one, even if it's true.

Listening from a coaching perspective without injecting your story, opinions or experiences has many benefits:

1. You understand the other person and their situation better because your focus is on them
2. The other person gets to hear themselves clearly - often this is enough for them to find their own answers [See: your girlfriend/wife/mother/female friends etc]
3. You show respect to the other person, they feel truly heard - this is rare
4. You are focused on a solution - What would you like to have happen? What's next?
5. You help the other person to find their own answers, empowering them to be independent. What are you going to do?
6. You do not carry other people's burdens - let's face it, a problem shared is often a problem doubled
7. By focusing on moving forward you challenge people to grow rather than following them round in circles as they moan and complain or recycle the past 

I can only imagine the number of relationships, personal and professional, that could be saved if we all learned some listening and coaching skills. 

Earlier today my girlfriend was very upset about something (thankfully not me this time). She was feeling very frustrated but I stopped myself from offering advice or my opinion and just asked her a few focused questions. These questions led her to thinking about what she could do and a few minutes later she took action. Thirty minutes later she'd spoken to someone that could help her and because she knew she had done her best she was able to let go of the situation and move on with her day. 

Without this new perspective that allowed me to look at her and remember: "the answers are inside you, you already know", that whole process could have taken hours or even days. Instead the shift from "helplessness" to positive action took just a few minutes. 

It was like magic. 

Stay tuned, I'll be sharing some coaching tools as my knowledge grows. 

Click here for Train - You Already Know

#125 - Why Bother?

Link to image

I got a temporary contract a little while back and when I came in on the first day I said good morning to the woman seated next to me. She glared at me as though I'd complimented her moustache and grunted "morning" under her breath. The next day she came in and again I said "good morning" and again she replied "morning", this time without even looking at me. On the third day she walked in and actually positioned herself with her back to me and immediately started a conversation with someone else almost as though she was trying to escape my friendliness. No dice - she still got a "good morning" when she sat down five minutes later and I got another grunt. 

At first I was blown away by her rudeness but then I reminded myself that we're all doing what we know to do. I don't know her, I don't know her story. What I do know is that I'm not going to waste energy holding on to some negative feeling towards someone I don't even know and I'm not going to become less than who I am. I continued saying good morning to her every day and good night when I was leaving even though sometimes she ignored me. 

During the second week she walked in one morning and said "Good morning" to me, one of the other women in the office nearly fell off her chair - visibly shocked, she caught my eye and raised her eyebrows. 

I don't suppose the angry woman's character is going to change any time soon. She was still breathtakingly rude to me on numerous occasions but I began to find her behaviour, which was clearly a mask, quite amusing after a while. 

"Hard outside, soft inside.
Soft outside, hard inside."
Chinese Proverb

There was a time when if I held a door open for someone and they didn't say thank you it was a problem. There was also a time where if anyone was rude to me I would have a knee-jerk reaction to it. 

Now I understand that this is usually not personal. I'm not that important :)

The reason I still hold open doors and I still try to be polite is probably the same reason I write this blog. 

Why bother?

Because it's the right thing to do.

#124 - Top 5 Regrets Of The Dying

Click here for link to image

#123 - Take Another Step!

Yesterday while having a "Power Talk" with one of my friends she spoke about advancing confidently in the direction of your dreams reminding me of the classic Thoreau quote:

"If one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavours to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours."
Henry David Thoreau

She was right "what's the next step?" is such a powerful question. 

If we look at something we want to achieve in its totality it might seem so huge that we procrastinate. For example I am writing a book, but whenever I think about it in its entirety "a book" it seems like such a massive undertaking. But what is the next step? Simply opening a word document, going to a folder and double-clicking on an icon. That is doable.

What do you want? What is the next step towards it? 

Click here for inspirational video "Steps - Food for Thought"

#122 - Coaching Academy - Free Certificate Training

Link to image

DISCLAIMER: This is a review of The Coaching Academy's Free Two-Day Training. The author has not attended any of their full-length courses and would therefore advise those interested in obtaining a professional coaching qualification to do their own research as this decision could involve a significant investment of time and money. 

I spent this weekend at a free training from the Coaching Academy. A fellow member of my Toastmasters club recommended it so I thought I'd check it out. It was a fantastic experience. Another friend of mine explained that it was an elaborate sales pitch but I was actually amazed at how much value I gained from the weekend and personally I didn't feel like they leaned on the sales element that much.

Coaching as I understand it is the process of helping someone clarify a goal and get their quicker than they would by themselves using their resources. 

It taught me so much about communication. When we speak to people it is so easy to give advice or suggestions or attempt to relate what they are saying to our own experiences. But as soon as we inject our 'story' we dilute what they are saying. Coaching shows you how to be a clear mirror so that the person can really see themselves and then access their own answers. The biggest lesson I got from the weekend is how much unsolicited advice I have given up until this point - for those of you who know me I promise I will work on that.

I love how coaching empowers a person instead of directing them, making them, talking down to them or making them dependent. I have always been fascinated by personal development, always believed that we have incredible potential within us so this weekend was like the best kind of confirmation. Cooler still you can apply the tools to yourself too. 

Clear, efficient, goal-focused, I think EVERYONE could benefit from having a coach. 

Halfway through the first morning I started thinking about how I could use the tools in my relationship, my friendships and now I think it will be part of my work. These are skills that I think could benefit anyone interested in personal development or being a more effective communicator. Managers, teachers, trainers, parents and therapists (to name a few) could all really benefit. 

Free Two-Day certificate trainings run throughout the year, check their website for more details. 

Thanks to the Coaching Academy for an awesome weekend. 

Click here for Coaching Academy website
Click here for Harvard Business Review Article - You Can't Be a Great Manager If You're Not a Good Coach

#121 - How Do You Enjoy a Rollercoaster?

Link to  image of Nemesis @ Alton Towers

"On my signal...unleash hell."
Gladiator

I'm about 15 years old and I'm at a small fairground with my older brother (who is 23 at the time), his girlfriend and her daughter. They all decide to get on a rollercoaster and my stomach turns at the thought but I join them in the queue. I don't like the idea of being on this rusty looking contraption. I like being in control, I don't think I'd ever been on a rollercoaster at the time. As we get close to boarding I look over my shoulder to see my brother is now outside the perimeter. He's looking at me through the fence, recognising the fear in my face and laughing wickedly with a glint in his eye. My 15 year-old brain quickly jumps to a few conclusions:

1. My big brother is a *&$£!
2. If my big brother is scared then I should be terrified

Unfortunately, instead of following my gut feeling and leaving the queue I stayed. Why? Because I'm a boy of course. How could I admit I was scared when this woman and her daughter (who was much younger than me) were so at ease. The fact my older brother was scared didn't seem to figure in my decision, this was a clear case of what some textbooks refer to as 'emotional reasoning'.

Needless to say it was a horrific experience, the longest 5 minutes of my existence. The fear intensified as the rollercoaster slowly began its ascent and when it dropped...my stomach fell somewhere outside of my body. I fought that ride every inch of the way, hating the lack of control, stomach clenched and face grimacing most of the way. When I finally got out I promised I'd never get in another rollercoaster again. Ever. 

Fast-forward 6 years and I'm at Alton Towers with some friends. I've lived a little life, tackled a few fears and I decide that since I'm at a theme park anyway I'm going to face that fear of rollercoasters. While queueing up for the ride I tell myself I'm going to just let go and ride the adrenaline - it was an intuitive thing not something I'd really thought about. As the long, slow ascent begins I'm talking to the rollercoaster under my breath telling it that it's nothing, psyching myself up like a boxer before a fight. This time when it drops I take a deep breath and a second after all the high-pitched screams begin all around me a low guttural roar spontaneously issues from the pit of my stomach like a warrior running into battle. Fear, adrenaline, defiance and God-only-knows-what-else all rolled into one long: 

"AAAAAAAAAAAARRGGHHHHHHH!!!"

...and I let go. 

I spent the rest of the ride smiling enjoying every second urging the machine to go faster. The fear that once crippled me was now a wave of pure excitement for me to ride. 

"Fear is just excitement without the breath."
Dr Gay Hendricks PhD, The Big Leap

This principle, this transformation of adrenaline into energy or 'fear into fuel' is something I have got better at over the years but when I trace that pattern back I think this was the first time I consciously made that mind-body connection. 

So, if we go back to the original question I can give you my answer...

How do you enjoy a rollercoaster?

Let go. 

What's yours?

#120 - "LISTEN" is an anagram of "SILENT"

I was talking about the power of listening today and a friend said: "the words listen and silent contain the same letters..."

Link to image

"Whenever the dialogue stops, the world collapses and extraordinary facets of ourselves surface, as though they had been kept heavily guarded by our words. You are like you are, because you tell yourself that you are that way." 
Carlos Castaneda

#119 - In This Corner - Trainers

Boxing is not as hard as it looks...it's a lot harder.
The Sweet Science is a much maligned and much misunderstood sport. Only after training in it for a certain period of time did I begin to start appreciating the skill and discipline it required, or the artistry of it.

While the most popular fighters get the spotlight it is the trainers who are the keepers of the knowledge and too often do not get their just due. Here is some footage of a few of my favourite trainers doing padwork:

Danny Fielder, UK

Click Here for YouTube Link

Roger Mayweather, USA

Click Here for YouTube Link

Franklin Sarfo, UK

Click Here for YouTube Link

Kenny Weldon, USA

Click Here for YouTube Link

#118 - Repetition Repetition Repetition

"Repetition is the fundamental rhythm of all progress, the cadence of the Universe. It's the chuff-chuff of the locomotive explosions that generate power in the automobile engine, the surging of the water against the turbine blades that generates electrical power. It's the tap-tap of the hammer that drives the nail into place....It's the tap tap of the same conscious thought that causes it to be impressed upon your subconscious mind and on the subconscious minds of others."
Claude M Bristol, The Magic of Believing

#117 - Meditation no.1

"...cultivate listening as a way of being, not something you do every now and then when you remember to."

"This takes humility and control of the ego."

#116 - You Asked For It!

I was doing some temporary work recently and arrived early one morning to catch this classic office conversation between two world-weary employees:

Lady 1: (heavy sigh) "Ah...well at least we're still breathing."
Lady 2: "Yes, we can't ask for much more than that can we?"

Me:(thinking) "Really??? Wow!"

I shared this story with a few friends who laughed, one said: "Yeah, some people don't ask for much more than breathing in and out."

How about you, what have you been asking for? 

 

#115 - 4 Ways To Get Lucky!

Do you always seem to land on your feet? Do you believe you were "born under a bad sign?" Perhaps you are more neutral on the subject of luck or you don't believe in it at all?

Well, it turns out that whether you believe you are lucky or unlucky or indeed neutral the chances are you are probably right. In The Luck Factor psychologist Richard Wiseman (professor of Public Understanding of Psychology at University of Hertfordshire) reveals the results of his research into lucky and unlucky people and finds that our luck whether good or bad is created by our beliefs, our expectations and behaviours. 

He highlights the 4 principles of good luck he ascertained from his research. Have a look and see how you match up:

1. Lucky people maximise opportunities: i) have a strong network, ii) a relaxed attitude iii) try new experiences
2. Lucky people listen to their lucky hunches i) follow intuition ii) boost intuition through meditating, clearing your mind, relaxation exercises etc
3. Lucky people expect good fortune: i) expect good luck to continue in future ii) attempt even if chances are slim & persevere despite failure iii) expect their interactions with others to be lucky and successful
4. Lucky people turn bad luck into good luck: i) see positive side of negative ii) see bad luck as temporary and don't dwell on it

Finally after you have answered tests to ascertain how lucky you are right now he provides some actions for you take over a one month period to improve your luck. Those that took part in the test for the book had an average 40% improvement in their good luck. 

The differences between the lucky and unlucky people he interviews is stunning. At one extreme you have people who almost seem cursed: multiple car accidents, relationship disasters and health problems. At the other end of the scale you have lottery winners, people who have enjoyed every job they've had and those that have learned to be happy even in the face of great challenges.

The Luck Factor is a quick and easy read and I highly recommend it. 

Click here for The Luck Factor on Amazon UK / Amazon US

#114 - Healthy Selfishness

Perhaps thanks to the religious beliefs that influenced my upbringing I grew up putting other people first. I learned the hard way that this isn't the wisest gameplan. It's a beautiful thing to give to others but without giving to ourselves first we can end up depleted, resentful and sick. 

The word selfishness has negative connotations but I think a certain level of selfishness is both healthy and necessary. This kind of selfishness, the selfishness of respecting and valuing yourself and what you want, the selfishness that doesn't hurt others I call healthy selfishness. 

#113 - Deep Knowledge vs Broad Knowledge

I love reading. In fact, now that audiobooks and Kindle allow me to carry two small libraries with me I finish 2-3 books each week. Reading like this however, holds the inherent risk of acquiring a superficial knowledge of many things, being a 'jack of all trades and master of none'. 

I once a heard a story about how Manly P Hall, having being granted admittance to the special library under the British Museum, realised he could never read all those arcane texts in one lifetime and fell to his knees weeping. I feel a bit like that dude :) there's no possible way I can even scratch the surface of all the things I want to learn and I'm slowly beginning to accept this. Recently a friend of mine told me I'm a guide and that really resonated with me - sometimes I can see a pathway for someone or connect them with information or someone else that will help them on their journey. I think perhaps I studied many seemingly disparate fields so that I could build a map, a broad knowledge if you will. 

At the same time I recognise the need to have a deep knowledge in the areas where I specialise. Therefore as I said in the previous post I am now revisiting many of my books, starting again and enjoying a deeper understanding of them this time. 

What is your area of expertise? What do you have a deep knowledge of? Or what would you enjoy studying deeply? It might not require reading lots of books, but I'm sure you know what it does take.  

Most people are dabblers but right now the world is crying out for experts...

Why not you?

"There's never enough time to do everything. There's always enough time to do the right thing."
Larry Winget

#112 - Starting Again

Link to image

The early stages of learning or changing something can be awkward and painful but something I find equally challenging is starting again. It takes humility and persistence to keep starting over. For example I remember the painful early stages of learning to skip: hitting myself with a vinyl rope whipping round at high speed, stinging my shoulders, the back of my head, my shins, my feet getting tangled in the rope. But that determination, that bloody-mindedness to just keep starting again especially when your muscles are sore and your mind is too tired to concentrate became a transferrable skill. And I got pretty good at skipping in the end too. 

I haven't boxed regularly for a few months now and I'm getting the itch to go back to training. I know my timing will be a little off, I know training will hurt and sparring will be frustrating because I won't have the stamina to do more than a few good rounds. I hate the idea of going backwards but the idea of letting this skill fade into nothing is unacceptable. 

I'll humble myself and try to approach it with beginner's mind, see if I can pick up anything new this time around. I'm doing the same things with some of the better books I've read and really enjoying them. 

Which leads me to the next post: #113 - Deep Knowledge vs Broad Knowledge

#111 - The Owl & The Pussycat by Edward Lear

I've been reading a bit...well technically listening to a bit of poetry thanks to the awesomeness of audiobooks; really enjoying the creativity and fun of nonsense rhyme - because of this poem the word 'runcible' was actually added to the English language.

Click here for link to image

The Owl and the Pussycat went to sea
In a beautiful pea-green boat,
They took some honey, and plenty of money,
Wrapped up in a five pound note.
The Owl looked up to the stars above,
And sang to a small guitar,
"O lovely Pussy! O Pussy, my love,
What a beautiful Pussy you are, you are, you are,
What a beautiful Pussy you are."
Pussy said to the Owl "You elegant fowl,
How charmingly sweet you sing.
O let us be married, too long we have tarried;
But what shall we do for a ring?"
They sailed away, for a year and a day,
To the land where the Bong-tree grows,
And there in a wood a Piggy-wig stood
With a ring at the end of his nose, his nose, his nose,
With a ring at the end of his nose.
"Dear Pig, are you willing to sell for one shilling your ring?"
Said the Piggy, "I will"
So they took it away, and were married next day
By the Turkey who lives on the hill.
They dined on mince, and slices of quince,
Which they ate with a runcible spoon.
And hand in hand, on the edge of the sand.
They danced by the light of the moon, the moon, the moon,
They danced by the light of the moon.

Click here for poem on rhyme.org

#110 - Dreams Part 1: Dreamcatchers

I dedicate this post to all those with me on the 21-Day Challenge - much love and respect :)

"I've got dreams, yeah dreams...to remember."
Buddy Miles, Dreams

Link to image

A few weeks ago I started writing my dreams down first thing in the morning. By having the intention to remember them the night before it helped me to recall them after I woke up. Initially they seemed quite chaotic and random but then the day after I posted #97 , inspired by Mike Dooley's story in Infinite Possibilities I set myself a 21-Day Challenge to visualise for 5 minutes every night before I fell asleep. (I managed to recruit a few people to join me on this challenge too!)

My dreams changed immediately, they not only became more positive but something else happened too, they started connecting to things that would happen later. For example where I was at 10 Downing Street talking to Margaret Thatcher which made no sense to me. However the next day after spending some time in Chelsea/Pimlico with my girlfriend just as we were leaving the area I saw "The Margaret Thatcher Infirmary". Small coincidence right? I also had a dream where someone I used to teach boxing wanted to work with me again, in a subsequent conversation he confirmed that he did actually want to train with me again and had been meaning to ask. This is not something we'd discussed, in fact we hadn't spoken about boxing for ages - I contacted him to ask if he'd be up for the 21-Day Challenge. The highlight of the dream spookiness however was last week Saturday when I had a dream connected to a friend of a friend - "L". I couldn't see her in the dream but I could sense her and I had the feeling that we were collaborating on a creative project of some kind. I woke up from this dream on Sunday morning and fell asleep returning to it again - I couldn't tell if it was music, poetry, something to do with my blog perhaps...it was like when you see a person and you can't quite remember the name, like it's just on the edge of your memory.

Link to image

When I woke up later I decided to go out and buy a journal to write my dreams down so I'd have them all in one place sequentially. It was as I wrote them all down that I noticed some of the connections to the events that were taking place in "real-life". My intuition nudged me again and told me to contact L. I was in two minds about it but I thought I'd just listen to my instincts. The conversation went like this:

D: "Hey L, how's it going?"
L: "That's weird, I called you back but your phone didn't ring it just went straight to your voice."
D: "OK, well it rang this end....hey this might sound a bit strange but I had a dream about you last night."
L: "Was I slim and lovely?"
D(smiling)"I don't know I couldn't see you. I just kind of...sensed you and I had the feeling that we were collaborating on some sort of creative project."
L:"Didn't you get my messsage?"
D: "No."
L: "I sent you a message on What'sApp"
D: "No I didn't get that."
L: "Hmmm..."
D: "What?"
L: "I was contacting you because my cousin is having a book launch next Sunday and we need a speaker."
D:(The hairs on the back of my neck stand up): "What's the book about?"
L: "It's called Patterns of Daydreams"

I look to my right at the dream diary laying on the couch beside me.

I spoke to L's cousin that day, met him for a drink the next day and the next Sunday was helping host his book launch, an amazing event where I met some really wonderful people. I left there walking on air (just as I visualised I would). 

The icing on the cake as far as dreams is that my intuition told me to not over-prepare, to keep it more natural so I didn't practise as much as usual which was a little out of my comfort zone. In fact, the ideas for what I did and said at the event on Sunday actually came from a dream I had the night before. I dreamt I was both hosting the event and practising the material simultaneously on the audience. The scene kept repeating itself like a movie shoot where you get multiple takes as I tried different things. When I woke up I wrote the ideas down and took the two things from the dream which felt right.

They worked in the dream, and they worked on the night. 

The lines between the dream-world and this one continue to blur, each one creating the other and I am beginning to gain more control over both. It's an exciting time.

I have learnt two key things from these experiences:

1) The things you are thinking about and feeling in the last few minutes before you fall asleep have a huge effect on your sleep, your dreams and how your day goes tomorrow

2) I think we do our dreams a disservice if we dismiss them as nonsensical or meaningless.

It seems strange to me that so little attention is given to sleep and dreaming considering it constitutes one-third of our existence. There are some people who say they don't have dreams, but actually we ALL have dreams, it's just that very few of us wake up to remember our dreams.

“All men dream: but not equally. Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds wake up in the day to find it was vanity, but the dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for they may act their dreams with open eyes, to make it possible.” 
― T.E. Lawrence, Seven Pillars of Wisdom: A Triumph

Do you remember your dreams?

I posted this song with a previous post but it fits so well...I had to do it again

Click here for YT Link to Dreams by Buddy Miles

#109 - 8 Characteristics Of an Alpha Male

Link to image

I first heard about the PUA (pick-up artist) scene while reading The Game by Neil Strauss. I was in the social science section of the library and it looked like a good read so I borrowed it. It was a great story. I read a few other books in the field but overall found the whole approach utilising NLP, "openers", magic tricks and all the rest of it manipulative and unnatural. It seemed to be all about style over substance. 

In The Alpha Male System Charlie Valentino suggests that rather than learning techniques you just become the best man you can be and you will become that much more attractive as a by-product of that. I think we're living in a time where the way we define what a man or a woman is, is changing and it is challenging for us all. I like Valentino's take on this so I thought I would share.

Here are the 8 elements which Mr Valentino suggests are the characteristics of a strong man: 

1. Physical Attraction
2. Confidence
3. Ambition
4. Displays of Expertise
5. Social Proof
6. Leadership
7. Ability to Connect
8. Life Experiences

What do you think?

Recommended  Reading
Click here for link to The Alpha Male System on Amazon: UK / US

#108 - The Tree Which Moves

Link to image

"The tree which moves some to tears of joy is in the eyes of others only a green thing that stands in the way. Some see nature all ridicule and deformity...and some scarce see nature at all. But to the eyes of the man of imagination, nature is imagination itself."
William Blake

#107 - The Secret Life of Walter Mitty

Link to image

I posted the following Anais Nin quote on the w0nd3r Facebook fan page on Saturday:

“You live like this, sheltered, in a delicate world, and you believe you are living. Then you read a book… or you take a trip… and you discover that you are notliving, that you are hibernating. The symptoms of hibernating are easily detectable: first, restlessness. The second symptom (when hibernating becomes dangerous and might degenerate into death): absence of pleasure. That is all. It appears like an innocuous illness. Monotony, boredom, death. Millions live like this (or die like this) without knowing it. They work in offices. They drive a car. They picnic with their families. They raise children. And then some shock treatment takes place, a person, a book, a song, and it awakens them and saves them from death. Some never awaken.” 
― Anaïs Nin

On the same day I watched The Secret Life of Walter Mitty and it fit so well with the quote that, yes. I've turned them into a post. Not due to laziness, no, but because the quote is awesome and I thought the film was pretty damned good too. I struggle to find decent films or television these days, in fact I might have to start looking into indie film, world film and documentaries etc 

This movie was beautifully shot, Ben Stiller (who if I'm honest I kind of gave up on after Night at The Museum franchise) smashed it and Kirsten Wiig is great. 

Watch it, particularly if you have a job or a life that is a little less than inspiring right now...

Click here for Secret Life of Walter Mitty Trailer

#106 - The 7 Millionaire Factors

Link to image on Amazon UK

In The Millionaire Next Door authors Thomas J Stanley PhD and William D Danko PhD explain how their research of the affluent in the USA revealed 7 key factors of *PAWs (prodigious accumulators of wealth):

*PAW = someone with a net worth of at least $1m

1. They live well below their means.
2. They allocate their time, energy, and money efficiently, in ways conducive to building wealth.
3. They believe that financial independence is more important than displaying high social status.
4. Their parents did not provide economic outpatient care.
5. Their adult children are economically self-sufficient.
6. They are proficient in targeting market opportunities.
7. They chose the right occupation. 

Recommended Reading
Click for The Millionaire Next Door by Thomas J Stanley PhD and William D Danko PhD Amazon UK/US
Click for CK Notes on The Millionaire Next Door (FREE on Kindle) Amazon UK/US

#105 - HOW TO EXPAAAAAAAND TIME!

"Monotony collapses time, novelty expands it." Justin Foyer, Moonwalking With Einstein

Michel Siffre - Link to image

If we do the same thing every day one day blurs into another and time seems to pass very quickly. For many of us this is our reality, the same sort of journey to work, the same sort of work, the same sort of lunch...suddenly it's October and we wonder where the year has gone. A more extreme example of this came in 1962 when speleologist Michel Siffre lived in a subterranean cave under the Alps without a clock, a calendar or any sunshine. At the end of this exploration of life "beyond time" Siffre thought one month had passed. Actually two months had passed and with this experiment he had single-handedly created the new field of chronobiology. 

The lesson here is that without the reference points of different experiences the mind blurs moment into moment, day into day and sometimes year into year. In order to expand time, to stretch our subjective experience of it we must do new things.
In Moonwalking With Einstein, Foyer explores memory, learning and eventually competing with world memory champions. He uncovers how creativity and novelty are paramount to memorising. It's an interesting read and I'll be doing some more posts on it in future. 

Link to Moonwalking With Einstein (UK/US)
Justin Foer interviews Michel Siffre

#104 - Chef, Stomp & Me by Paul Jones

Howdy Folks 

It's my girlfriend's better half once again with some more random musings! I'm getting the jump on my ethereal brother coz he plays dirty... No more photos of Denzel looking at me sideways please...! (# 89)

I wanted to share a couple of things I had the good fortune to experience recently. One is a wonderful show called Stomp and the other is my new favourite film Chef. I'm guessing it's no coincidence that I saw both within a week. They were inspiring, original and brilliant!

Click for Stomp Newspaper scene

Stomp - Whoever had the idea of creating an entire show around dancing, everyday items and rhythm deserves everything he or she got from this show ( I hope it's loads!). Choreographed excellently. Performed with real love and dedication. A superb use of mime meets slapstick comedy. Simple facial gestures and shoulder shrugs have all us of in hysterics! Some really classic nods to silent movie makers too. My son looked at me about 15 minutes in and asked me why they weren't talking. By the end he heard them clearly!It really was a great show. What also struck me was the subtle social commentary running through. The rugged, unkept look of the performers. The industrial backdrop to the set. Rustic and worn makeshift instruments fit seamlessly between the crowded newspaper scene. The trash based pass the parcel bit hinted to a sadder circumstance.... The idea of this group finding whatever they can in dire environments and just blowing your mind; like the syncopated precision of broomsticks, the juggling paint cans to beat, suspended, yes, suspended percussion! A thigh slapping, finger snapping, hand clapping symphony that they encouraged us to participate in! Played to pantomime perfection too, I was truly blown away.

Link to image

I've probably missed some great shows as I'm not a regular theatre attendee but this one is special.

Link to image

Chef is also special. Very! I gotta admit from the get go that I'm a little biased with this one. I am a Favreau fan, but this film is Awesome! It's like he was at home, with a stogie of course, and he decided "I've made enough of this Ironman money.., I'm going to write and direct a film that has everything I Love in it!" Luckily for me, and I hope for the rest of you, you love these things too! From cooking to relationships (old an new) family, road trips, culture, social networks, shopping, work, he just crams it all in there! He's managed to tell this great story about growth and love to a banging soundtrack! From his relationship with his son, colleagues, exes and currents, you see this character lose and find himself. He puts it all in there. The pacing of the ensemble, no one thing dragging on too long. A real quality piece of movie making for grown folk. Did I mention the soundtrack is also Banging!!
The reason why I wanted to tell you about these two events is that the two had one specific thing in common; A genuine, original voice. Most of what I like in any field of artistic expression is something different. I appreciate the new like everyone else, but I really enjoy something fresh being done in a traditional way. Two pieces that took what we see everyday and for about 2 hours, show you a completely different way of looking at it, and life...!
There's real passion behind these two 'reflections'. I really recommend you see them both, and make sure you're with someone you love.

Click for Chef OfficialTrailer

There's a beautiful scene where, while by the food truck, Carl is talking to his son and in the speech, he says something like "...I'm good at this. I touch people with what I do... And I think you can be good at it too...'
I think I'll just leave it there...!